I suspected bi-men’s biggest nemesis would be DudeBros, but — almost universally — the main complaint I heard was judgment from women and gay men. I witnessed that simply admitting an INTEREST led to numerous emotional public outbursts from partners. One bi-man told me that he has no trouble meeting women but they scatter when he informs them he is bi, assuming he is gay. Another man told me that gay men assume he is just closeted; another that gay men have told him he is “untrustworthy” and not worthy of a relationship. “I am comfortable who I am,” said another Sanctuary bi-man. “I like (men & women).”

It’s not like bi-women have it easier. Many complain that supposedly “bisexual” women they meet are merely performative. One said it’s like women are expected to act bi in front of their men, but that’s where the interest ends. She said she was not interested in just being a unicorn for couples. She sought a greater relationship with women but felt that her desires were minimized or even ostracized by her “straight” friends.

(Yes, this could be “Pan Night” but the above stories were relayed by people who specifically identified as bisexual)